Holding Space

With Shelly Vaughn

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I wonder if he knows…


I wonder if he knows…

How much I love just being by his side.
That he’s my best friend.
How much I love feeling his hands holding mine.
How bad I feel that I made him a caregiver, but how impressed I am at how well he does the job.
How I appreciate all the adventures we do together.
That I wish our life wasn’t in this place, but there’s no one I’d rather have helping me get through it.
How well he predicts what I need- sometimes even before I know it myself.
That a vow 14 years ago was so much more than words- and I’ve witnessed him living it out in amazing ways.
How I’ve smiled in my half-sleep state, too tired to get up or say anything, as I’ve heard him make our kids laugh.
That I trust now more than ever, that he would be an amazing father if he had to do it alone.
That I couldn’t be winning this fight without him.
That he stole my heart when I when just 15 yrs old… and he still has it today.

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Cover Photo


I didn’t think to tell everyone that the cover photo for this page was taken by Rob. He has such talent for photography. He went out the morning after we learned my diagnosis, to a part of the CVNP that we frequent. He took this beautifully serene photo without knowing I would even be starting this page. It perfectly represents the start of my walk- foggy; unknown yet familiar; I know what’s at the end of that path when it’s clear- it’s just hard to see right now. I love my husband!