Holding Space

With Shelly Vaughn

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February 28 Update

A lot has happened since round #2 of chemo on Thursday. Thursday night Rob buzzed off my hair for me (with some “help” from the girls). It was emotional, but it was falling out and I wanted to cut it off while I felt physically ok and before the chemo side effects set in over the weekend. Friday, Trisha was here hanging out when I got the best heart-warming surprise visit from 2 of my life-long friends from PA (Megan Nagel and Carly Caruso). Never thought I would be saying that the day after chemo was one of my favorite days ever. It was beautiful outside… a nice way to get used to a bald head. We had lunch at Market District (because you all know I love that place) and looked at old photo albums from middle school. Nothing like wonderful memories (and crazy fashion photos) to get your mind off of an illness. Saturday, I got another visit from my dear friend Mindy Brisbane Vickers, and started feeling the side effects so I slept most of the day. Trisha and I already had tickets to Disney on Ice with the girls, so the wonder-woman she is somehow managed to get our 4 girls ready and packed for the show in Pittsburgh, and get me to the show while I slept in the car. I woke up for the show, then slept on the drive back home. I’m so thankful I had that time with the girls… it was a great experience. My mom brought the girls and me home where I slept away the rest of the weekend through Monday while she helped around the house and preoccupied our kids. The bone pain this time seemed a little more intense and I’ve had a harder time with nausea/eating. My fatigue has lasted longer, too, but that’s expected. I went to work for part of the day today, trying to wear my wig for the first time. Thankfully, I have amazing friends at work who help me and cover for me when I can’t last a whole day. Thank you again to everyone who has sent cards and messages and everything. I’m feeling loved; which is a much needed balance to this physical crumminess.

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Good Day

Today was a really good day. It’s the first day that felt good since my diagnosis 2 weeks ago. Though I didn’t sleep much last night, I was excited to wake up this morning. I started with an early morning haircut- with a great friend who got hers cut short, too. Then headed to meet a special group of friends for brunch. It felt so comforting to be surrounded by friends and be able to laugh and enjoy their company. Then we just hung out at home with the girls doing regular Saturday things- coloring with Liana, watching Olivia do her cartwheels and dances. The girls had a friend’s sleepover tonight so Rob and I had a nice evening of dinner and a movie (both with coupons which made it even sweeter). I needed a day like today- no medical procedures, not much pain or discomfort from my port anymore, and a true feeling of contentment that I’ve been missing. I’m sure it’s fleeting, but I’ll enjoy it while it’s here.