Holding Space

With Shelly Vaughn


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And just that quickly (to you all, not me) another week has passed and it’s almost time for another chemo. Thank you to everyone who has checked on me to see how things are going. This week was pretty similar to the last one, so I’m wondering if maybe there is some semblance of a predictable response here. The first couple days after treatment I felt ok but very tired. My neuropathy is worse on Saturdays and Sundays then subsides slowly into Monday and Tuesday. But the gabapentin helps it tremendously. I have intermittent bone pain, but nothing like the intense pain with the A/C chemo. I’m not too nauseous (YAY!!) but still have mouth sores and a crazy sensitive tongue that interfere with eating. (I have prescriptions for it, and I’m doing everything I can.) These also are not as bad as before and don’t start until around Monday. I’ve managed to eat a few new foods this week- cucumbers, bread dipped in soup, and a few bites of cheesecake (thanks, Jen Wedo!) though applesauce and slushies are still my favorite. I’m confident that I will have gained another couple pounds at my weigh-in tomorrow. My fingernails are tender, especially on my index fingers. Cinnamon Leonard, my “personal manicurist” 😉, has helped me keep them looking ok while I still have them. I still have moments where I’m just tired of all of this and want it to be over. But I try to keep the big picture in mind and realize that tomorrow I’ll have half of my chemo treatments finished!!! Halfway, people!!! That’s progress.

This week’s confession- it’s hard for me to trust God and to pray boldly for healing and for this to never return- mostly because of the implications then if it really would return in the future. Following the suggestion of my friend, Christina Cheronis, I’m asking for you all to pray for that and help carry it for me until I can do it myself. Thank you, as always, for the unending love and support. We’re doing this!!!!!

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